I've just listened to this song, " I Believe", by R. Kelly. I don't know but I like it much. This song expresses a lot, e.g, love, hope, faith, victory etc. not only to our partners, family etc. but to our nation as well.

It reminds me that I have to believe in myself that everything will be fruitful and fine, as of regards to my marriage life and to my father(who's now in bad condition), respectively. I've felt bad and worried recently because of my father's health condition. Nonetheless, I'm hopeful that he'll feel better soon. I don't know how does it feel to lose him; because just the thought of it makes my heart bleed and my tears fall.

As well as, it reminds me that there's always hope for our country. Someday... somehow... everything will go back to normal. There will be no more hunger and war.

Anyway, here's the song. Please listen to it.



Now, tell me I am right......thanks for viewing!

The Confrontation

Suddenly the typing room was filled with darkness. Someone has turned the lights off. To my surprise, I saw Joseph.

Angrily, he held my arms and shouted, " Why can't you understand me? You're very hardheaded. Could you please listen to me?". I was speechless. I wasn't able to talk in that the scene happened quickly. All I could feel at that time was my arms aching. Joseph held them very tight.

The guard on duty went upstairs to see what happened. After he knew that it was Joseph (the son of the director) who shouted, he went downstairs. On the other hand, I was firmed with my decision of the break up. However, Joseph didn't listen to my reasons. So, I was forced to say bad words against him; as if I didn't respect him.

Joseph was shocked. He couldn't believe that I said those bad words. Immediately, he told me, " Well, if that's really your decision. Okay...from now on, you're free. I also don't want to wake up one day headless. I'm afraid you'll do something bad against me if we fight...like, you might cut my head as I sleep. Besides, I can't believe that in a minute you forget that I'm much older than you...don't worry, I'll no longer disturb you...and don't worry because I'll love Agnes more than I love you.. I'll take care care of her more than I take care of you...you'll see it tomorrow....thank you so much for everything. You know how much I love you."

For the second time around, I was speechless. What Joseph has told me struck my heart. I felt bad against myself. I thought I was selfish at that time. I didn't listen to his explanations. I didn't give him a time to prove himself. Knowing the fact that we have agreed already for the wedding, that he has loved me much and he has fought for me, I felt guilty.

Nonetheless, I was hardheaded so I tried to ignore what has just happened. I picked up my things, then I went downstairs. I left Joseph in the room.

Immediately, Joseph followed me. He got his motorbike and rode beside me. I was just walking at that time, so he directed me to ride on his motorbike; but I didn't listen to him.

He stopped the bike, then he grabbed my hand and commanded, " Ride on!" I could feel that he was extremely angry. So, I rode on his bike. While I was holding his waist, I suddenly missed the times when we went for a ride, the moments when we talked in the mini-forest, the days when we studied together in the study table and the times when we laughed & teased each other.

Nevertheless, I didn't change my mind. I was very egoistic at that time. I've never changed the decision that I already made. Minutes later, we arrived in my boardinghouse. I went directly to my room while he went home.

I laid on my bed speechless. I stared on the ceiling thinking of what has just happened. I've realized that I didn't want him to go. However, I've already did it; so, I calmed myself down. I took a deep breath then I cried silently. Hours later, I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

On the following day, I was shocked because...


to be continued...

This morning I've heard a news from the local radio that there are 7004 taxis running and picking up passengers here in Cebu every day. So, I'm thinking if the taxi drivers can still pay for the rent of the taxi; based on the fact that everyone prefers to ride a jeepney rather than a taxi due to the financial crisis.

On the other hand, my older sister works in a taxi company as a radio operator. She told me that most of the drivers are depressed because fewer and fewer people ride on the taxi. Nonetheless, they're thankful if it rains because they can get passengers easily.

Oh my...I don't want to think that the economic crisis is getting worse; yet, I can see it...I can feel it. This reality is depressing; moreover, a call that I have to save up.

Before I went back here in Cebu this morning, I dropped by to my aunt's house where Tay Andaw's wake was there. I wanted to ask permission from him that I couldn't attend his burial. His coffin was in the living room so I went there. Unfortunately, no one was around except me.

The lights were on but the candles were not lit. Without a second, I looked at his face, then in my mind I asked him permission with my reasons as well. However, something strange happened that made me walk away from the coffin fast.

I strangely smelled some candles burning. It was strange. The candles were not lit. How could it happen? The smell was kinda strong that made my body shiver and made me walk away.

Do you think I'm paranoid? haha

While I was browsing, I saw this article. Its title, "Emailing while Asleep" caught my attention in that it reminded me of my cousin.

My cousin, Glenn, used to sleepwalk. One time, we watched TV while he was sleeping. Thirty minutes later, we saw him walking towards the kitchen. We thought that he was really awake, so we never cared about it. Until, he went to the living room where we were watching TV. He was bringing with him a pail and a basin. So, we asked him where he was going. Then, he told us that he was going to wash his clothes. We were shocked because it was already 11pm. Finally, we found out that he was just sleepwalking since his eyes were closed when he did it.

Anyways, here's the full story of the article.

According to a case described in the medical journal Sleep Medicine, a 44-year-old sleepwalker logged onto her computer and emailed out party invitations to friends. Fortean Times magazine looks at this case and several other bizarre episodes of somnambulism. From Fortean Times:

The mails themselves were perhaps not up to the woman’s waking standard; each was in a random mix of upper and lower case characters, badly formatted and containing odd expressions. One read: “Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, 4.pm. Bring wine and caviar only.” Another said simply: “What the…”

The writers of the report have dubbed this new variation of sleepwalking ‘zzz-mailing’. They say: “We believe writing an email after turning the computer on, connecting to the Internet and remembering the password displayed by our patient is novel. To our knowledge this type of complex behaviour requiring coordinated movements has not been reported before in sleepwalking. She was shocked when she saw these emails, as she did not recall writing them. She did not have any history of night terr­ors or sleepwalking as a child.”

Unlike simple sleepwalking, they argue, the activities the woman engaged in required complex behaviour and coordinated movement, as well being able to remember her login details. She had no memory of the events next day. It’s thought that the somnambulistic episode may have been triggered by prescript­ion medication.

Yesterday, Uncle Rolando died. He was my father's brother. My sister informed me via text message about his death yesterday morning. The news was not shocking to me because I knew that uncle's health condition has been worse since I was in college.

Tatay Andaw ( as how I called him before) was a very smart man. Every time the family encountered problems and every time the family had to make big decisions, Tatay Andaw was the one who sought for the solutions and who made great suggestions, respectively. In short, he was the brain of the family.

Pacaldo clan is big, united and strong. It's the most influential family in our place. When my grandpa died as well as his siblings, the clan has still remained strong and united. It's a very big family, so the majority of the people in my place are my relatives, especially that my grandma's clan is big too and most of them are living in the same place.

When my grandpa died, it was Tatay Andaw (Uncle Rolando) who replaced him as the head and brain of the family. My parents together with the other members of the family (with my grandma, of course) used to have a meeting every week. They talked about family matters, as well as politics in that most of the members in the family are politicians.

Politics runs in the blood of the family. There's always pressure in the family during elections because they are opponents. However, it has still remain strong and happy. Whatever happens during the election is buried and forgotten after the event.

Like for example, last election my father together with his two siblings and many cousins ran for the same position. So, it was kinda difficult. For weeks, we had to be patient with some hearsays. When my father won as well as his siblings and some cousins, everyone was very happy. Everyone celebrated. And, everyone forgot what had happened.

Going back to the topic, I don't know the whole story yet about Tatay Andaw's death. So, I have to find it out on Sunday. Although his burial is on the 27th of February, I'm going home on Sunday.

I last saw him last December 20o8 when I went home for a Christmas vacation. We weren't able to talk much because my family and I went to the island - Isla Mahanay. Nevertheless, I was able to kiss his hand. We came across in the street. He was on his way to our house. Unfortunately, I and my family were on our way to the island so we weren't able to talk much.

He thanked me for the present that I gave him. He also told me that grandma was very happy because she liked the gift that I gave her. As far as I can remember, he was very happy at that time. He wore a decent clothes. He looked very handsome. I have never thought that it would be our last time to talk.

It hurt me every time I saw his condition. He had no children. His wife ( Nanay Mining) died years ago.He was lame so he could hardly walk. He had to use a cane. Moreover, he could hardly breath. Something was wrong with his lungs. When Nanay Mining died, he was always sent to the hospital. Nonetheless, his condition had been better since 2005.

Although his death wasn't shocking to me, there are still questions in my mind about his death that are unanswered. Since I started working last 2004, I haven't received any news that he was confined in the hospital again.

Thus, when they informed me about his death yesterday, I felt strange. I felt I wasn't ready yet. But I have no choice, he has passed away. If I only knew his real health condition, I would have spent much time with him when I went home last December.

Tay Andaw, I miss you! Wherever you are now, I hope you're happy. You're with Nanay Mining now. I'm sure you're now living together in heaven. I love you, Tay. You just don't know how much I LOVE YOU!

This month is a very busy month for me. I'm doing a lot of things. I'm occupied every day. So, I wasn't able to post an entry to this blog of mine for weeks. I've missed my blog and the blogs that I'm following. And, it's sad to say that I still can't read and give comments to my favorite blogs in that I'm really really very busy.

So, Tess, Aya, Kumiko, Hiroko, Vivek, Jaime and Eleazar, please wait..I promise to finish everything as soon as possible so that I can visit your blogs soon. I really miss your blogs.

Meanwhile, I'm going to post this thingy that I saw in Yahoo minutes ago. I kinda like this, so I decided to give a little time for this (just for me to post it here).

Anyways, here it is...



I really find this almost invisible treehouse cute, elegant and excellent! This is made by Tham & Videgard Hansson Arkitekter - a Swedish firm.

I love treehouses; so, I love this.