Author: Lotlot
•4:01 PM
Secrets Uncovered

An old closet and a dusty bed struck my eyes when I opened Joseph's room. The room looked haunted. There were dusts and cobwebs everywhere. On the other hand, I felt something strange. The windows were closed but I could feel the air blowing my body. I couldn't describe my feelings at that moment. My heart was palpitating and my knees were quivering. I wanted to go out from the room but my curiosity stopped me.

Minutes later, I was tempted to open the old closet. When I opened it, I saw three things inside- a photo album, a native bamboo bag and a pile of love letters. I was very eager then to know the contents of the things I saw.

The first thing that I picked up was the native bamboo bag because I was attracted to it. It was small and unique. Its shape was tubular. Its sling was made from cloth, but its body was made from a real bamboo.

Anyway, I tried to open the bag yet it was tightly wrapped with masking tape. I tried to shake it for me to at least guess what was inside, but I didn't hear anything. I knew that there was something inside the bag because it was heavy. Also, I suspected that the content of the bag was vital to Joseph since he wrapped it tightly. Unsuccessful, I put the bag back inside the closet.

The next thing that I picked up was the photo album. I was horrified when I turned the pages of the album because I saw pictures of a fetus inside the bottle and a dead baby boy. The dead baby boy was very handsome, and he looked like a little angel sleeping. As I was about to turn to the remaining pages of the album, I heard the car coming. So, I immediately returned the album to the closet. Then, I went out from the room hurriedly.

I was disturbed with what I saw. I wondered who was that dead baby boy? Who was the owner of the fetus? What was inside the bamboo bag? Why did Joseph keep those things inside his room? What was the relationship of Joseph to the fetus and the dead baby boy?

I felt my head would explode every time I thought of the things I had discovered. I wanted Joseph to answer the questions I had in my mind but I didn't have the courage to ask him. On the other hand, I felt bad against him. I felt that he was not honest to me. I had not expected that he would hide many things from me.

After a deep thinking, I took a nap. When I woke up, I saw the notebook on my study table.

to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•6:11 PM
..so I said, " YES".

The following month, Joseph asked me if he had the chance to own my heart. He told me that he badly needed my answer because it had been three months already since he started courting. On the other hand, I had seen also how devoted and supportive he was to me, so I said, " YES", to him. When I accepted him as a boyfriend, I forgot that he was quite older than me. Probably because of the constant written communication we had done each day that inspired me and made my heart melt.

During the first three months of our relationship, we hid it from his family, from my family, from our friends and from everybody; because, we believed that it would just create friction between us and the people around us. We intentionally hid our relationship to prevent the bad possibilities or problems to come our way.

The written communication was our primary means of communicating each other. In fact, we had a notebook for us to write everything we wanted to tell to each other. Putting the notebook into our rooms secretly was not that easy because we had to observe our steps and we had to see to it that nobody was watching.

As well as, we had to find a perfect time and a safe place during our dates. We were really trying our very best not to be caught by the people around us that we were dating or we were in a relationship.

On the other hand, I did not stop in getting information about the mystery of Joseph's room in the second floor. I was really very eager to know the reason why he didn't stay and get inside in his room upstairs anymore.

One Sunday morning while everyone was in the church, I got a chance to get inside Joseph's room. I really found the room mysterious. Upon entering the room, I saw a closet. When I opened it, something strange caught my eyes.

to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•5:37 PM
Acknowledgment & Accomplishments

Early in the morning, Mr. Eugene received the copy of the Bohol Inquirer publication of the day. As he scanned the pages of the newspaper, he saw the write-up that I had contributed. He then showed it to Joseph, Mrs. Honor and the rest of the family members.

Without my knowledge, they made a surprise for me. They prepared food as a celebration to the success of my write-up. I've been writing a lot of write-ups since then. On the other hand, I've also contributed write-ups to our school's gazette.

Aside from writing, I've also showed my ability in hosting. I was one one of the emcees in our school. I have emceed different programs at school, likewise in my boardinghouse and in my home place.

Moreover, I've showed my ability in leading and serving my co-students. As a matter of fact, I have served as a president, vice president, etc. a couple of times in the different organizations at school that I joined.

And above all, I have kept my good performance at school. Because of the accomplishments and functions I did at school, I was recognized by most of the students and faculty members. Most importantly, my family and the director's family especially Joseph were very proud of me.

Despite the accomplishments I've got, I was not that proud of myself I guess. And, I didn't recognize my ability that much. As a matter of fact, the people close to me were more concerned and aware of the things I have accomplished. For example, Joseph had a complete compilation of my write-ups at the Bohol Inquirer and the school's gazette, whereas I didn't even have one copy.

Lately, I've felt regrets of not giving importance, of not appreciating and of not recognizing my talents and accomplishments in life. If it's true that one will lose the talents that she/he has got if she/he doesn't appreciate and make use of them; then, no wonder why I've almost lost them all?

Anyway, Joseph had kept on inspiring me until one day....

to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•7:12 PM
The Other Side of Me

I used to eat breakfast with the director's family. I used to love the hot chocolate that was served every morning. I didn't know if it was a coincidence, but Joseph and I sat next to each other most of the time. And, he would always tease me by touching my feet using his foot.

On the other hand, he would always join me when I studied in the evening. Well, he was an English professor, so he made his lesson plan, checked his test papers etc. in the study table with me. While we were studying together, we used to conversed through writing. He would write everything he wanted to tell me on a paper and he would pass it to me secretly. And, he would always wait for my reply. Minutes later, we would laugh quietly for us not to disturb his mom who prayed every night for long hours.

Written conversation was often our means of communication. I started to like it. It thrilled me in that it was unusual for me; because, I've been very talkative since I was a child. A couple of weeks later, we became very close without the notice of everybody.

Speaking of written communication, I was able to show the other side of Lota. I was invited by my professor who was a staff of the city's newspaper, Bohol Inquirer, to contribute write-ups to their gazette. It was a great honor for me because only a few were chosen and invited to write for them; and, I was one of the chosen few.

Although I've been having a passion in writing since I was young, I still needed inspirations. So, Joseph was first on the list. It was not only because he courted me but it's also because he encouraged me to do the things I've wanted to do and he taught me things that I didn't know about English.

One week later, the fruit of my passion and hard work came.

to be continued....
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Author: Lotlot
•5:07 PM
First Day High

I was very much welcomed on my first day at the director's residence. All the members of the family were there, including Kenneth. They told me to feel at home.

Kenneth was very happy because she had someone to talk to at last. She's quite younger than me. At that time, I was 17 on the other hand, she was 13. Her cousins were much younger than her and were all boys, so she couldn't share with them girl stuffs & talks.

Possibly, Kenneth's first impression towards me was good, thus she requested me to live with them. Well, we really didn't live in the same house because she and her parents had their own house; but, we bonded often and became best friends later.

Anyway, I had my own room in the director's residence. My room was in the 2nd floor, between Joel/Evit's room and their children's room. Joseph had also a room in the second floor, around the corner from Joel/Evit's room; but, he didn't sleep there anymore. Instead, he slept in the first floor, next to the living room.

According to Kenneth, Joseph had not slept and stayed his room in the second floor for many years already. I was very eager to know the reason why but I didn't dare to ask Joseph about it vis-a-vis because I've observed that it was somewhat private. No one in the family talked about it.

Abandoning the room was a very big issue for me. It was in my mind that there was really a big reason of doing so. Due to curiosity, I didn't wait for Joseph to tell me the reason; instead, I tried to solve the mystery behind it secretly.

The room wasn't locked. So, I could get inside the room anytime. Whenever everyone wasn't around, I tried to get in and gather some info. I was really hoping to find the secret behind.

On the other hand, I've sensed that Joseph was very happy when I moved there. I've caught him winking and smiling at me whenever I glanced at him. Then again, I also felt happy inside. It seemed that my heart jumped and rejoiced every time I caught him winking or staring at me.

"Why do I feel this way? Am I in love?" I asked myself.


to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•4:16 PM
The Decision

I've decided to comb my hair after I stayed idle for a couple of minutes in the corner of my bed. Abruptly, I saw a post-it note on the mirror. Due to curiosity, I got the note and read it.

Here's the content of the note;

Lota,

You left your door open and I saw you sleeping. Instead of disturbing you, I chose to leave a note for you.

Anyway, I've heard that my parents offered you to stay with us for Kenneth. I will be the happiest man in the world if you accept the offer.

with love,
Joseph

P.S. I bought something for your dinner. Please eat after you read this.


The food was ready on the table, so I ate right away. I kept on thinking of the offer while I was eating. I've thought of the advantages and disadvantages. Eventually, I've made up my mind. I've decided to accept the offer.



Monday ( 26th of April, 1999)

Before I went to my classroom, I've gone to the the director's office first. I told the director and his wife that I accepted the offer. They were very happy and they expected me to start living with them the following day.


Tuesday ( 27th of April, 1999) - My first day at the director's residence.



to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•4:02 PM
A Hard Decision to Make


When the class ended, Mrs. Honor told me to remain inside the classroom. I was afraid because I suspected that she already knew about me and her son, Joseph.

After she arranged her things on the table, she told me to go with her in the director's office. As I've mentioned earlier, her husband was the director of the school. My heart pounded even faster. I couldn't measure the fear and the guilt feeling I had inside. It was in my mind that they would avoid me from going out with Joseph.

" Good morning, Sir!", I told the director as I smiled and bowed my head. " Have a sit, Lota.", he replied. I felt like I was in a hot seat at that time. I thought they would get mad at me because I went out with their son.


" Lota, Honor and I have observed that you're not only doing good in your classes but in getting along with other students as well. So, we've decided to offer you to live in our house. Our granddaughter, Kenneth, feels bored because her mom is very busy with work. We want you to live with us because Kenneth wants you to be her bestfriend. ( I've met Kenneth when I visited the director's house.). Don't worry, aside from a free board and lodging, we'll pay you for living with us. Is it okay with you?, the director asked.

[Huh!], I took a deep breath after I listened to what he said. [ Thanks, God for saving me today! I thought my world would end. ". I told myself silently. Ma'am Honor, Sir Eugene, I'm sorry I can't decide about it now because I still have to tell my parents about this. But, I'm willing to accept your offer because I need money. I don't want to bother my parents when it comes to financial needs at school. Yet, I'll have to inform them first as a sign of respect.". Is it alright with you, Ma'am..Sir?, I replied.

" It's all right with us. Of course, you have to inform your parents about this first. Anyway, just tell us the updates, okay? they said. " Yes, Ma'am. Thank you very much, Sir...Ma'am for the offer. I really appreciate it. I'll inform my parents about this tomorrow... I'll go ahead, Ma'am...Sir.", I replied.

Afterwards, I went home in that my last subject was in the afternoon. My boardinghouse was a throw stone away from the school, so I could go home after the class. When I was in my room, I thought deeply if I had to accept the offer or not. The offer was good. I could earn money from it. Although, my tuition fee was free, but I needed money for my allowance, board & lodging, miscellaneous fee, projects, etc..The offer was the solution to my money problem.

On the other hand, my mind was in chaos. I could hardly decide because of Joseph. For me, it wasn't a good idea to live with them. I was afraid of the many possible things that might happen, e.g, What if I fell in love with Joseph because we would live in the same house? What if his family would know about us? What if our closeness would go beyond the limits?, etc.

Since the following day was Saturday, I went home and informed my parents about it. At first, my father didn't allow me. He wanted me to focus on my studies. He said I couldn't concentrate much on my studies if I lived with other people's house. But, my elder sister insisted that it would be a help for us since we were financially poor. In the end, they agreed that I had to accept the offer.

The next day, I went back in my boardinghouse. Despite the blessing that I got from my family, I was still confused about the offer, whether to accept it or not. Likewise, if I had to be happy because I could earn money or if I had to be afraid for the bad possibilities that might happen along the way.

Thinking of the hard decision to make, I felt asleep. It was already evening when I woke up. The room was dark so I stood up to switch the light on. Subsequently, I sat in the corner of my bed.

Seconds later, something caught my eyes. Guess what?....


to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•2:55 PM
The Time Has Come...


" Lota, are you ready? Joseph is waiting outside. Hurry up!", my flatmate said as she knocked the door. " Yes, I'm almost done. Tell him to wait for awhile.", I replied. While fixing my hair, I tried controlling my breath because my heart pounded very fast. It was like I would burst.



5 minutes later, I went to the living room where Joseph was waiting. My heart beat even faster when I saw him smiling. I was speechless for a moment. I didn't know what to do and what to say; so, I just smiled at him. Then, he held my hand as he said, " Let's go.". It seemed like I was floating in the air.



I was very silent upon going to the restaurant. I kept on thinking why I was chosen by him considering that I was only 17 and I was still studying? Moments later, he broke the silence and he said, " Lot, do you believe in soul mates? I have never felt this way before. I've only known you for a few days but it seems like you're connected to me. It seems like I've known you for a long time. So, I'm thinking that you're probably my soul mate." Before I could answer him, we arrived at the restaurant.



We continued talking while we were eating. He told me that he was very sincere for his feelings towards me. On the other hand, I was not sure if I felt the same way. All I knew at that time was I admired him for being a cyclist and a successful man. I have never thought of falling in love with him because he was quite older than me.



You know, teens don't like mature guys. I was only 17, so I was looking for smart, handsome and young men at that time. While on the contrary, Joseph wasn't young anymore. Nonetheless, I was tickled every time I thought of the surprises and the time when we met coincidentally. Moreover, I felt proud and pretty thinking of catching a big fish.



After we ate, he brought me back to my flat. Since both of us like cycling, we had agreed to go cycling together the following weekend. Before he left, he held my hand and said, " Lot, I hope to hear the word " YES" from you soon. Good night!"



The following day, I went to school. My professor in my first class was his mother. As expected, I tried my very best to perform well in the discussion. My classmates were seniors and I was a transferee from a good school so I had to show what I've got.



After the class, our professor told me to remain inside the room because she had something to tell me.



to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•5:36 PM
An annoying surprise.


As I opened the door the next morning, a hard thing from above the door dropped on my head - a book. I said, " Ouch! It hurts.", as I touched my head. I was a bit annoyed and I tried to find the one responsible for putting that thing in the wrong place.



Instead of opening the book, I immediately went to the dining room and called the attention of everyone. " Excuse me guys, who among you here put this book above my door? Don't you know that it hit my head hard?". " Not me.", everyone replied.



" If none of us here put that book above your door, so who put it there?, one of my flatmates said. We all replied, " Oh, yes.". " Why not open the book for you to know? It may have the name of the owner.", she added. Thus, I opened the book.



Unexpectedly, leaves fell from the pages of the book as I opened it. We were all surprised when we picked them up because each of the leaves had a word written on it. Because the words were scrambled, we tried to put them in order.



After we arranged the leaves/ words, we were able to read the whole message. The message goes like this;



" Hi, Lota! This is Joseph. Can I invite you for a dinner tonight, please?"



I felt like crying because my flatmates teased me. They were all very excited for the dinner date. They wanted me to go with Joseph for a dinner. They prepared everything for me, e.g , the clothes that I had to hear, the shoes, etc.. On the other hand, I was nervous because I haven't experienced yet having a dinner/dating with someone quite older than me.




Prior to the dinner, I kept on staring at the clock. I didn't want the time to move because I was really really nervous. Yet, time is unstoppable...until the time of the dinner, has come..



to be continued...
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Author: Lotlot
•5:09 PM
The Truth


As I opened the door of my room, I saw a letter on the floor. It was a love letter written on a scented paper. I felt like I was in a paradise that's full of flowers because the scent of the letter filled the room.


Before I opened the letter, I tried to guess first the name of the sender in that the sender's name was not written on the envelop. I had few names in my mind - Rudy, Sunday, Leo and Zoe.

Rudy was a classmate of mine who courted me as well. Sunday was my friend's cousin who patiently visited me when I went home. Leo was a classmate of mine who didn't express his feelings for me in words but rather in actions. Zoe was my flatmate who according to my other flatmates, had a crush on me.

" Hmmnn, either of the four", I told myself. Yet, neither of them was the sender. Instead, it came from -- no other than - Joseph. I was surprised and eager to know the reason why he wrote a letter for me?



" Dear Lota,


I think I finally found the girl that I've been looking for a long time. I don't think meeting you twice ( first, in your place; second, in my house) is a coincidence, instead it's a sign that you're the destined person for me.



I'm not forcing you to believe me but I'm hoping that you'll give me a chance to knock your heart.



with love,

Joseph "



After reading the letter, I didn't know what to do and how to react? I couldn't believe that I've received a letter from him. Never in my mind the thought of having Joseph as one of my suitors. Based on the fact that I am too younger for him and I am just too little for him when it comes to success, accomplishment, etc.. He was already a successful man while I was still a student.


Minutes later, someone knocked my door. It was our landlady. She told me that Joseph had come to see me when I was in the mini forest. So, she told him where I was.

Thus, meeting Joseph in the mini forest was not a coincidence. He intentionally followed me there. Wow!

The next morning, a hard thing from above dropped on my head as I opened the door.


to be continued....
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Author: Lotlot
•3:54 PM
Joseph and I met coincidentally......


One Sunday afternoon, I went to a mini forest near the school. I went there because I wanted to feel fresh air in that it was very hot that day.


While I was looking at the butterflies flying, someone tapped me on my shoulder. I was scared because I thought I was alone in there. When I looked back, I saw Joseph. He smiled at me and said, " Did I scare you?". " Of course, you did", I replied angrily. To my surprise, he hugged and apologized to me.

Minutes later, we sat down and talked many things, specifically about our life. Afterward, I came to know him better. I've found out that he was a lawyer, an English professor in one of the colleges there and a cyclist. Moreover, he has entered priesthood; but, he didn't go back to the seminary after his one year exposure to public. So, I was proud to have him as a friend yet I didn't think of falling in love with him because he was 22 years older than me. He was 39 years old at that time while I was only 17.

When the sun was about to set, we went home. Beforehand, he told me that he wanted me to focus on learning English; because he knew from his mom that I excelled on it. He added that he would visit me in my boardinghouse and would give me English books, materials, etc. Thus, I've decided to specialize English. Not merely because of him but also because of my favorite adviser and English teacher in high school - Mrs. Trining.

As I opened the door of my room, I saw a letter on the floor.


to be continued....
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Author: Lotlot
•3:30 PM
Monday, April 5, 1999 - The Summer Class started...


I was very excited because it was my first day of school at BIT; on the other hand, I was a bit nervous because I didn't have friends yet and my classmates were all seniors.



On the first day of the class, our professor, Mrs. Honor, gave us an exam. Luckily, I got the highest score. The professor was amazed because I excelled against the seniors. So, I felt happy and proud, especially that it helped me to get many friends. Anyway, the professor gave another exam the next day - an English exam. Fortunately, I got perfect; so, the professor started to use my name as an example for a student who's determined to study. Not only that, she told her husband, who was our school director, and her family about it.



One day, I was called by the director, Mr. Eugene, to go to his office. He congratulated me for performing good at school. And, he told me to maintain it even if I didn't have the chance to be one of the academic honors on graduation since I was a transferee. Well, I was still a scholar of the school. The following day, I was invited to go to his house to meet his family.



When I was in his house, I met the members of his family. The director's wife, Mrs. Honor, who was our professor and guidance counselor. His daughter, Mrs. Josephine, who was one of the school's professors and the Dean of Commerce Department. His son, Mr. Joel, who was an engineer and a professor in our school as well. His grandchildren, especially, Ms. Kenneth, who became my best friend.



I thought I have met already all the members of the family. Yet, someone arrived when I was about to go out from their house - a man who rode on a mountain bike. Since I admired people riding a bike, I was very eager to know the man.



I finally met him when I went out from the house. As our eyes met, the two of us asked each other this question, " Have we met before? You seem familiar. "; then, we laughed. As we both tried to recall, we've remembered that we came across the previous week.



Guess what? He was the cyclist that I once met in my place. The cyclist who asked for the road direction. Anyway, we introduced each other; and I found out that his name was Joseph.



After introducing each other, I went back in my boardinghouse.




to be continued....
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Author: Lotlot
•5:55 PM
My first love...


After a year in college at St. Louise de Marillac College of Bogo, I transferred to Bohol Institute of Technology. April 1999, I started studying at BIT with Bachelor of Secondary Education as my course.



Before the opening of the class, I visited my closest cousin. While I was walking home, I came across a cyclist. His name was Joseph. At that time, he was in his late thirties; whereas, I was in my teens.


As far as I can remember, Joseph asked me about the detour in our place in that the road was under construction. Then, he left right after he got my answer. He thanked me and waved his hand as he left. Unfortunately, we forgot to ask our names.



Possibly, knowing each other wasn't important because we were not interested with each other due to our age gap. I was only 17 years old while he was 39. Nonetheless, I have never forgotten the colors of his cyclist outfit, cap and hankie; as well as, his face.




to be continued..
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Author: Lotlot
•2:34 PM


The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.

Charles R. Swindoll quotes(American Writer and Clergyman, b.1934)

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Author: Lotlot
•7:14 PM
I like this new song of Mario, I choose You. The message of the song is nice and it's rhythm as well. Check this out!



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Author: Lotlot
•6:04 PM

energy - the capacity for work or vigorous activity; vigor; power.

enthusiasm - great excitement for or interest in a subject or cause.

empathy - identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives.

faith - confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

family - a fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children.

friend - a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
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Author: Lotlot
•3:49 PM
"The First Cut is the Deepest" is the song of the famous singer, Sheryl Crow. I first heard this song last 2004 when I was on vacation in San Francisco, Agusan del Sur, Philippines. My cousin has had a Restaurant & Karaoke Bar at that time. While I was there, my cousin asked me to take charge of her Resto Bar.

Well, I had enjoyed a lot as an in charge of that Resto Bar because I met many people. One of them, had become my boyfriend; he was one of our valued customers. As far as I can remember, he was broken-hearted the first time he went to the bar. He went there not just to eat but to sing & get drunk as well.

As an in charge, I roamed around the area from time to time, for me to see to it that the waiters and waitresses served our customers well. While I was roaming around, I saw him( my ex-boyfriend) sitting in the dim corner of the bar. He looked very sad and he was very silent while staring at the bottle of beer on his table. I was curious so I went to his table and I asked him if he was alright? I didn't know what was on his mind but he told me everything that made him sad.

While he was telling his sad love story, a sad love song was played. I listened to the song while listening to him. Suddenly, his tears started to fall from his eyes. So, I asked him, " Are you alright?". He replied, " Yes, I am. It's just that I'm struck with the song. It tells my love story. What's the title of that song, anyway?". We asked the DJ right away and we found out that the title of the song was " The First Cut is the Deepest".

From that night on, our friendship has started. We used to share our problems to each other and give advices as well. To release the bad feeling we had inside, we rode in my motorbike and went to distant places. Well, I have liked riding a motorbike since I was younger. Riding the motorbike, eating together and going to distant places had become our relief whenever we're exhausted.

After few months of knowing, laughing and helping each other, we'd become lovers. Our relationship had gone on smoothly even if my cousin and my aunt disliked him. They disliked him because he was the nephew of my aunt's husband. They wanted me to find a guy from other clan. Although my ex-boyfriend had a work and was very handsome, still my aunt & cousin didn't like him. They wanted me to find someone better than him financially...ggrrrhhh! Nonetheless, they didn't hinder us from loving each other. Thus, we were very happy with our relationship. We had even planned to settle down in the future.

Yet the smoothness of our relationship had stopped when his ex-girlfriend came home from Japan. His ex-girlfriend begged him to accept her back and offered him marriage. Gradually, our relationship had turned into a nightmare. He was confused on what to do. He didn't want to give up our relationship but he was very curious to see his ex-girlfriend. Because of his selfishness and greediness, I decided to leave from the relationship.

Of course, I had cried for many nights after I quit from our relationship. I usually found myself riding the motorbike very fast without direction. It wasn't that easy to forget him.

A month later, my aunt has introduced a guy to me. Although the guy wasn't that good looking, he had most of the things and attitudes that my relatives and I were looking. He's almost perfect in all aspects.

Guess what? That guy has become my man and my EVERYTHING for many years now. And, I have no regrets for loving and accepting him in my life.

Last year, my ex-boyfriend called me. I felt pretty because he has still remembered my mobile number. For many months, he has been asking for my hand. He wanted to marry me. He told me that he didn't marry his ex-gf because he loved me more. He added that he chose not to disturb me for a few years because he wanted to go back to me once he's financially prepared. I was flattered because he has built a house and a small business for us. He was very confident in telling me how ready he was for the wedding and for our future family. Unfortunately, he was unsuccessful in winning me back.

At present, I'm very happy, together with the destined man for me. On the other hand, my ex-boyfriend is still single. He has no girlfriend at all. Well, life is just like that. There's always an equivalent prize in everything we do. If before he could relate his love story with the song, " The First Cut is the Deepest", now, he can relate it with the song of Alicia Keys, " Karma".

Nevertheless, our break up wasn't that bad at all. With it, I've found my better half. With it, my ex-boyfriend has made a house and a business; likewise, he has bought a motorbike. I was his motivation in getting everything that he's got now. I was even touched when he said, " Lot, you're the reason why I bought this motorbike? This motorbike symbolizes our good old days. It's sad to say that we can no longer ride together whenever we have problems.".

It's the song, The First Cut is the Deepest, that gives me the idea for this entry; in that, I heard this song three hours ago.


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Author: Lotlot
•4:23 PM

I like watching or reading news on TV, on the internet & on the newspaper, respectively. Thus, I usually watch news on TV before I go to sleep at night. Speaking of news, it's been two days since the news in ABS-CBN- Bandila was all about combat stress reaction that some Filipino soldiers are experiencing. According to the news, the number of soldiers who are experiencing shell shock or combat stress reaction keeps on increasing.


Combat stress reaction, in the past commonly known as shell shock or battle fatigue, is a military term used to categorize a range of behaviours resulting from the stress of battle which decrease the combatant's fighting efficiency. The most common symptoms are fatigue, slower reaction times, indecision, disconnection from one's surroundings, and inability to prioritize. Combat stress reaction is generally short-term and should not be confused with acute stress disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, or other long-term disorders attributable to combat stress although any of these may commence as a combat stress reaction.


I was surprised when I saw the patients at the psychiatric ward for soldiers. I felt pity to them, especially those who could no longer walk, those who felt being degraded by some people, those who felt sorry for themselves, those who had serious injuries/wounds and those who lost their eyes, feet, hands, etc. Most of them said that they felt bad because some people degraded them by telling they're insane. Some inconsiderate people think that a soldier is insane if he's confined in the psychiatric ward.

On the other hand, the Philippine Military spokesperson said that the psychiatric ward lacked equipment, funds, other resources, etc. And, it affected to the complete recovery of the patients.

These questions, " When does the war between Muslims and Christians stop? Why do Filipino men want to become soldiers when it's risky to be a soldier? When do peace and harmony between Filipino Muslims and Christians happen?, have existed in my mind after I watched the news.


Nevertheless, I salute to Filipino soldiers! For me, they're heroes.
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Author: Lotlot
•4:11 PM

Last night, I watched the show , Ripley's Believe it or Not ( Philippine version), in GMA 7. It featured cybernetics and the possible existence and reign of cyborgs in the near future.

Cyborg - is a human being whose body has been taken over in whole or in part by electromechanical devices.


Cybernetics was defined by Norbert Wiener, as the study of control and communication in the animal and the machine.

The professor of Cybernetics, Kevin Warwick, told that it's possible for cyborgs to be more intelligent than human beings and to dominate the world one day. He added that superman or superheroes would probably come to reality. He, himself, is a half cyborg. He has undergone an operation in which circuits were implanted in his body. Whenever he enters his house or office, the computer will automatically check his mails, the lights will turn on & the doors will open automatically, etc.. What a cyborg can do is really amazing? Furthermore, it's Professor Warwick who's amazed first; in fact, he has influenced his wife to undergo an operation to be a half cyborg as well.

Kevin Warwick is a British scientist and professor of cybernetics at the University of Reading, UK . He is probably best known for his studies on direct interfaces between computer systems and the human nervous system, although he has done much research in the field of robotics.

Anyway, I'm afraid of the probable disadvantages of the existence of cyborgs in the near future. I can't imagine they'll dominate the world. What will happen to the real human beings - their followers? What will happen to the world? Will there be chaos, trouble or war?

I think there's disadvantages at times of having high intelligence, an advanced technology and great scientists. They may help bring chaos among people and may lead people to suffer in the near future.

Someday, I hope cyborgs will bring more advantages than disadvantages, as well as, will not grow big in terms of population if ever they really exist.
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Author: Lotlot
•4:33 PM

I was having my breakfast when I remembered my gormandizer neighbor. I didn't use to eat breakfast, I only had a cup of coffee instead. But this morning, I have eaten breakfast because my brother was there; in that, we are having the same work schedule this week, 2:00-10:00pm.

As I was eating, I unintentionally remembered my gormandizer neighbor. I have remembered her because I didn't feel like eating breakfast. I told myself, " How I wish I was a gormandizer so that I'd like to eat breakfast?". However, I'm really trying my best to always eat breakfast as it is good for our health.

Unexpectedly, the food per meal of my gormandizer neighbor is equivalent to the food for five men. She really eats and drinks excessively. Imagine, she usually has 3 loaves of bread with 3 liters of coke for snacks. Take note: she's not yet full with that; but, she stops eating because she has only a little budget for snacks. Even though she eats voraciously, she's not fat. I think she has an abnormal metabolic process. Whatever the reason is, I really can't do what she can when it comes to eating and drinking.

Anyhow, a gormandizer is a greedy person or a person who eats or drinks gluttonously. How about you, do you know anyone who is a gormandizer?
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Author: Lotlot
•2:33 PM

You may be wondering what Pesiao Liner is? It's the name of the bus liner owned by a relative of mine. He's my relative because he's a cousin of my mother. I haven't seen and met him yet in person. So, I can never recognize him for sure if I happen to come across him.

When I attended my uncle's burial, I have ridden the bus of Pesiao Liner. An hour before I got off from the bus, the conductor has asked me why I went in Tuburan? So, I told him that I attended the burial of my uncle. His eyes turned big as he said, " You're Pesiao? Sorry, I haven't recognized you. It's my first time to see you, I think.". I smiled and replied, " Yes, I am. You haven't recognized me because I rarely visit here.".

Anyway, I'm telling you this story because I want to share a lesson from this. The lesson is, it's good to mingle with our relatives when we have time so that we'll not be strangers from each other forever. On the other hand, I've noticed that we can gain more respect if we're connected to wealthy people; so, how much more if we're the ones who are rich or wealthy?

Before I forget, my complete name is Lota Pesiao Pacaldo De Guzman.
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Author: Lotlot
•2:45 PM



The Rosary (from Latin rosarium, meaning "rose garden" or "garland of roses") is a popular traditional Roman Catholic devotion.


The term denotes both a set of prayer beads and the devotional prayer itself, which combines vocal (or silent)
prayer and meditation.


The prayers consist of repeated sequences of the
Lord's Prayer followed by ten recitations of the Hail Mary and a single recitation of "Glory Be to the Father"; each of these sequences is known as a decade.


The recitation of each decade is accompanied by meditation on one of the
Mysteries of the Rosary, which are events in the lives of Jesus Christ and his mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary.


( The above information's from Wikipedia .)
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Author: Lotlot
•3:09 PM

I used to lead the prayer of the rosary at home, in the church or in any religious gatherings when I was younger. My mother is very religious; so, teaching us how to pray the rosary, chaplet etc. is part of her upbringing. She used to whip our butt if we fell asleep during the prayer; likewise, she used to let us pray the rosary when we did something bad.

When I studied high school, I was able to use what my mother taught me about the Rosary because I studied in a catholic school. Moreover, my sponsor was a very religious woman too, so we prayed the rosary at night and dawn. It was kind of sacrifice for me; but, it taught and helped me a lot to be what I am now. Well, I'm not that very good as a person but I'm not that bad too..hehehe

Anyway, here are the Mysteries of the Rosary. We follow these when we pray the Rosary, like for example: The Joyful Mysteries on Mondays and Saturdays, The Sorrowful Mysteries on Tuesdays and Fridays, etc.


The Mysteries of the Rosary

By tradition, Catholics meditate on these Mysteries during prayers of the Rosary. The biblical references follow each of the Mysteries below.

The Joyful Mysteries
(Mondays and Saturdays)

1. The Annunciation
2. The Visitation
3. The Nativity
4. The Presentation
5. The Finding of Jesus in the Temple


The Luminous Mysteries or Mysteries of Light
(Thursdays)

1. Jesus' Baptism in the Jordan.
2. Jesus' self-manifestation at the wedding of Cana.
3. Jesus' proclamation of the Kingdom of God, with His call to conversion.
4. Jesus' Transfiguration.
5. Jesus' institution of the Eucharist, as the sacramental expression of the Paschal Mystery.

The Sorrowful Mysteries
(Tuesdays and Fridays)

1. The Agony in the Garden.
2. The Scourging at the Pillar.
3. The Crowning with Thorns.
4. The Carrying of the Cross.
5. The Crucifixion.

The Glorious Mysteries

(Wednesdays and Sundays)

1.The Resurrection.
2. The Ascension.

3. The Descent of the Holy Ghost.
4. The Assumption.

5. The Coronation.

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Author: Lotlot
•3:08 PM

The Child Jesus and the Blessed Mother give the Rosary
to St. Dominic and St. Rose


I was reminded of the Month of the Holy Rosary when I happened to pass the church this morning. The month of October is the month of the Holy Rosary for us, Catholics.


As far as I can remember, I used to hate in going to school when the month of October came. I studied high school in a catholic school, so we always had to pray the rosary after the flag ceremony, before and after classes and on our religion ( Christian Living ) subject. What made it worse, each of us had to count the number of rosaries we recited and let it listed by the secretary. We were graded in our religion subject according to how many rosary recitation we had.

Well, my teachers before were mostly nuns because the school was dominated by the Daughters of Charity sisters/nuns. Yet, I had liked studying in a catholic school as a whole. If there's one thing that I couldn't forget, that was the memory I had in my high school days.


Anyway, the feast of the Holy Rosary was established by Saint Pius V on the anniversary of the naval victory won by the Christian fleet at Lepanto, October 7, 1571. The victory was attributed to the help of the holy Mother of God whose aid was invoked through praying the rosary. The celebration of this day invites all to mediate upon the mysteries of Christ, following the example of the Blessed Virgin Mary who was so singularly associated with the incarnation, passion and glorious resurrection of the Son of God.
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