Everyone in the house was so quiet when Joseph arrived. Mrs. Honor made a hot chocolate quietly. Mr. Eugene read the newspaper dumbly. Joel and his family stayed in their room noiselessly. And, I watered the flowers in the yard silently.
Joseph stayed in the yard after he changed clothes. I was not allowed to talk to him anymore so, I pretended that I didn't see him. I kept on watering the flowers as if no one was watching. At times, I would glance at him secretly to see if he looked at me. Then, I would laugh voicelessly when I caught him looking at me.
I continued on keeping distance from Joseph. I stayed away every time he attempted to go near me. I didn't write in the notebook anymore. And, I would not study in the study table downstairs once he was there. On the other hand, Joseph was not stupid so he noticed that I kept distance from him.
One afternoon while everyone was taking a nap, he went inside my room. Though I was busy preparing visual aids for my report, I still noticed his presence. We had already been in the relationship for many months so I knew every detail about him particularly his scent and the perfume he was using. Although I missed him a lot, I ignored his presence since it was the right thing to do.
Joseph remained standing at my back for some minutes. My heart started to melt. I felt pity on him so I smiled at him and instructed him to sit beside me. Without delay, he asked my why I ignored him. Of course, I denied his accusation since I was not allowed to tell him the reason why. I knew he suspected that I was not telling the truth but he nodded.
Furthermore, Joseph asked me if the papers for the wedding were ready. So, I gave him the papers for him to see. I stared at him as he inspected happily each paper. I wanted to tell him that the wedding might not be pushed through but I didn't have the nerve to tell him.
When Joseph left, I stopped making visual aids. Instead, I thought of him and the coming wedding. I wanted to be married by him despite the reminders I got from his parents. Yet, I doubted the wedding to come true. I have sensed that something bad would happen prior to the wedding day.
After a deep thinking, I decided to write a letter to Joseph's parents.
" Dear Ma'am and Sir,
I'm really sorry for not telling you about the relationship that I have with your son. It is not our intention to keep our relationship secret forever. It's just that we believe it is the right thing to do in the interim.
I want you to know that I'm determined enough to finish my degree. So, don't worry about me and my relationship with your son. Joseph and I know our limits as far as our relationship is concerned. I can assure you that we will not go beyond the limits.
On the other hand, thanks for reminding me about the wedding. Don't worry I'll think about it many times before I make my final decision. I know I have already agreed to Joseph about it, but I'm sure he's willing to understand if ever I say NO to it.
Anyway, I don't think I can continue ignoring Joseph's presence when I'm here. This task is really hard for me since we live in the same house. So, I have decided to quit from working here. Next week, I'll go back to my boardinghouse.
I'm hoping for your kind consideration.
Respectfully yours, Lota"
Right after I wrote the letter, Joseph's parents as well as Joel left for school. Then, I saw Joseph in the garage fixing his mountain bike. So, I immediately went downstairs to see if the master's bedroom was opened. Luckily, it was opened so I entered and put the letter on the side table.
In the evening, I went to school for my evening classes. While I was attending my last class, my heart pounded very fast. I was restless yet I ignored it. Then, I went home right after the class.
As I was about to enter the gate, I heard Joseph talking angrily towards his mother. I was frightened so I stood still outside the gate. Seconds later, I saw Joseph opening...
Today is a terrible day. I'm not feeling well. I've been having cough, cold and headache since last weekend.
It was my day off yesterday. I wanted to buy groceries but I was very tired to get up. So, I decided not to go out; I stayed in bed the whole day instead.
I don't feel like working today. Yet, I need to work so I'm here in the office. I'm sitting in front of my computer coughing and sneezing.
Our relationship went on smoothly while waiting for the scheduled date of the secret wedding. Yet, it was beyond our grasp that everyone in the family has already discovered our secret relationship until one morning while Joseph was cycling Mr & Mrs. Eugene called me for a meeting.
I was clueless on what the meeting was all about until Mrs. Honor showed me the notebook. " Alas! We're caught.", I uttered silently. Then, she stared at me and said, " Why didn't you tell me that you're having a special relationship with Joseph? We go to school together everyday but you never tell me anything. Lot, you know that I and my family like you, but why did you keep your relationship secret?".
I was speechless. I couldn't answer Mrs. Honor's questions. I felt I was in the hot seat. I wanted to ask help from Joseph, but he wasn't there. I held back my tears and I remained silent.Then, Mrs. Honor continued speaking," We will not stop both of you from loving each other. In fact, I'm happy because Agnes will no longer force herself to Joseph. But, I feel bad to the fact that you're planning to get married next week yet you have never told us about your relationship. Why do you have to have a secret marriage? Why didn't you tell us about your plans?
I remained quiet because I was deafen with the many questions that Mrs. Honor asked me. I didn't know what to answer first and how to begin answering. Anyway, Mr. Eugene interrupted, " Lota it's alright with us if you get married but I'm worried about you. You're just 18. You're still very young to enter marriage life. Are you sure you really love our son? Are you sure you'll not be having regrets in the future? Joseph is too old for you. You're smart and you have many ambitions in life. Don't you think getting married early may hinder your ambitions? Well, we'll not stop both of you from entering into marriage BUT we want you to think many times first before you do it. It's easy to get married but it isn't easy to get out from it. So, please think, think and think first. "
Mrs. Honor nodded and said, " Eugene is right. Lota. Think first before you decide to get married. This is for your own good. Do you understand?". Confused, I replied, " Yes. Thanks for the reminders. You're right. I really have to think many times. Anyway, I'm really sorry. We were wrong in keeping our relationship secret.".
" It's okay. But, we'll no longer allow both of you to study together in the study table and to eat together. And, I don't want to see you talking to Joseph anymore.", Mrs. Honor said. " What? Why?, I asked. " I'm afraid something will happen if you stay close to each other. What if you get pregnant? Are you ready to become a mother?",she replied. With eyes wide open I said, "pregnant? mother? of course, not. I'm not yet ready for it.".
" So, it's a deal. Don't think bad against us because we're just doing this for your own sake. I know Joseph will get mad at us if he knows that we talk about your wedding; so, don't tell him, okay?", she added. I had no other choice thus I said, "YES".
In the evening, I went home and celebrated birthday with my family. My mother prepared some delicious foods for us to eat together. Then, the night ended with a smile on my face.
Our relationship remained secret as the time went on. As usual, the notebook was our primary means of communicating each other. At times, we went to different places if we had something important to talk to.
Furthermore, I still lived with them. Kenneth and I kept on enjoying our friendship. Every day, I helped do the household chores. On the other hand, I kept my good performance at school. And, I continued contributing articles to the local newspaper and to the school gazette.
Six months later, we spent Valentine's day together. Joseph gave me lots of love notes with many hearts and cupids. Also, we gave presents to each other. In short, we celebrated the occasion happily.
As the expected date of our secret wedding was near, our happiness continued. We prepared everything that was needed in the wedding, particularly the papers, before the month of March. After the preparation, we excitedly waited for the wedding day.
Joseph was already sitting on the bench when I arrived at the mini forest. He smiled and waved as I came near to him. Then, he thanked me for granting his request - to meet him. Later on, he asked me if I had plans for that day. Of course, I answered NO because I didn't have any plans for that day.
" But, today is your 18th birthday. Don't you want to celebrate it?", Joseph asked. " Celebrate? Hmmnn, NO but I'll go home this evening. My mother is preparing some foods. And, why are you asking?"I replied. " Because I want you to celebrate your birthday with me. Wear this helmet. Let's ride. Let's have fun.", he said.
I have liked riding the motorbike since I was young; so, I wore the helmet immediately and we went cycling to the remote areas. We really had fun. We laughed a lot. And, I forgot all the problems and the bad feelings I felt.
After an hour of riding the motorbike, we stopped and we sat under the tree. We talked about the problems that we had been through, e.g, the issue about Agnes, Linda and the fetus. He assured me that he would never keep secrets from me again. And, he would remain faithful to me.
Furthermore, we talked about the secret wedding. He was determined enough to marry me. On the other hand, I was interested on it; because I loved him. Besides, it would not hinder my studies in that it was a secret wedding. Nobody would know that we got married, except of course the lawyer and the two of us.
However, I disagreed him for the wedding schedule that he proposed. He wanted the secret wedding to be done on the following week. I was not ready yet at that time. So, we had agreed to have it in March, the following year. We still had to wait for half a year since that month was August.
Afterward, we rode the bike again for a few hours before we went home. Then, I was surprised as I entered my room because I saw presents from Joseph. I had never thought that he remembered my birthday.
When I came home after class, I saw the notebook on my study stable with a CD on it. For me to know the purpose of the CD, I opened the notebook and read the message.
" luv dear,
Please stay here. I don't know what to do and what to feel if I can't see you as I wake up in the morning. Please don't leave me. Don't think of the consequences because nothing bad will happen between us. You know that I love you very much. I care for you a lot and I respect you. So, I will never do anything that will harm you or hinder your plans.
With regard to my family, don't worry about that. My parents and siblings like you, especially my niece, Kenneth. Yes, I know we keep our relationship secret but I'm sure they'll understand us by the time we reveal the truth.
I want to marry you. Please say YES to my proposal. Don't worry, I'll still allow you to go to school and finish your studies. If you're not ready yet, we can have a SECRET WEDDING. What matters most is we officially and legally own each other. Please..please..please marry me.
Before I forget, I bought this CD of David Pomeranz for you because I want you to listen to the song, "Born For You" everyday. Why? Because I believe that I was born for YOU.
luv u so, Joseph
P.S. Let's meet at the mini forest tomorrow.
I found myself smiling after I read the letter. I knew he was romantic but I have never thought that he would do such thing as buying a CD just for him to express his feelings towards me. On the other hand, I got a little interest in the secret wedding. But, I avoided myself from thinking about it because I was afraid I would be tempted in saying YES to it.
The following day, I went to the mini forest to meet Joseph.
I was totally shocked when I saw the thing inside the native bamboo bag. It was a fetus inside the jar. The fetus that I saw in the photo album. My tears continued to fall as I stared on the jar. I felt pity to the little baby boy that floated on a formalin. He was innocent. I couldn't imagine a mother having the nerve to kill an innocent child inside her womb.
Joseph broke the silence by telling us," I have kept my baby inside my room for many years. I'm hurt every time I see him because I can remember how bad Linda is for killing my two sons. So, I chose not to occupy my room anymore. Recently, I've realized that this is the reason why I'm disturbed? Why my mind is unpeaceful? I have to let my baby go. My room is not the best place for him to stay. Minutes from now, I'll go to the cemetery to bury him. I'm sure I'll be having peace of mind after I put him to the place where he should be in. I have to move on. I have to forget my two sons and start a new life."
On the other hand, my mind was wandering as I listened to Joseph and as I stared on the baby. It was the baby who made the room mysterious. Since then, the questions in my mind about the strange things Ive noticed and heard in Joseph's room were answered. Possibly, it was him and his older brother who used to play inside the room.
Anyway, my mind stopped wandering when Joseph tapped my shoulder and said, " I have to go to the cemetery now.". Mrs. Honor and I nodded and supported him with his decision. But before he left, I held the jar first. Then, I told the baby quietly to rest in peace and join his brother in heaven; as well as, to watch his father everyday.
When Joseph left, I decided to go to my room upstairs. As I passed by Joseph's room, I stopped and opened it. " The mystery is finally solved. From now on, I can no longer notice strange things in this room", I whispered quietly. Then, I left and proceeded towards my room.
I saw the notebook on my study table, so I got it and read the latest letter from Joseph.
" Luv dear,
Thank you so much for coming into my life. You probably don't know, but you help solve the mystery that disturbed my mind for many years. You're a godsend to me. Thanks a lot luv. I love you so much. . Anyway, don't forget about the wedding. I want to move on and spend my whole life with you. I want to marry you as soon as possible. So, I want you to go home and get your birth certificate because it's needed in the wedding.
luv u much, Joseph"
After I read the letter, I was reminded about the wedding. I was not interested at all; because, I was too young to get married and I wanted to finish my studies first before I got married. In short, I was not ready yet to enter in another phase of life. So, I got a pen and began writing for him.
" Joseph,
I'm sorry. You can't use the wedding in winning me back. Don't worry, our relationship will go back into normal as soon as I can accept the fact that you keep secrets from me.
By the way, I'm planning to go back to my boardinghouse. I'm not interested anymore in living here. I know living here helps a lot with my studies; but, I'm afraid of the consequences that will possibly happen as we continue to live in the same house.
I'm glad that you offer me a wedding. Thanks a lot, but I can't accept it. I'm determined to finish my studies. Sorry!
Lota"
An hour after I put the notebook in Joseph's room, I went to school. I wasn't able to concentrate much in the lessons because I was disturbed by the things that I have just discovered & witnessed and by Joseph's offer - the wedding. I was not sure if I was right on not accepting the wedding BUT I stood for my decision.
I was clueless on the last paragraph of Joseph's letter. I was very curious about it and I focused more on it; in fact, I even forgot that he mentioned the word " wedding" in his letter. Instead of writing him back, I slept early.
The morning was so quiet when I woke up. Joel and his family were still sleeping. Mr. Eugene read the newspaper silently in the living room. Mrs. Honor fed the turkeys outside the fence. Thinking of Joseph's plan for that day, I got out from my room hurriedly to find him. Yet, he was not in his room nor in the yard were he used stay. Unsuccessful, I got the broom and I swept the dried leaves in the yard.
As Mrs. Honor and I burnt the dried leaves in the backyard, Joseph came to us. He brought with him the native bamboo bag. Even though I was curious on what was inside the bag, I kept silent and waited for him to talk and to tell us what was inside it.
Later on, he said," Now, I know the thing that has kept on disturbing me for many years. [ He raised the native bamboo bag and he continued speaking].This is the answer. I'm disturbed because of this. Thank you Lot for giving me the idea. I have to settle this thing today.". I interrupted and I asked, " If you don't mind, what's that?".
Slowly, Joseph opened the bamboo bag by removing the masking tape that was wrapped around it. On the other hand, I eagerly waited for the bag to be opened. I kept on staring at it as Joseph continued on removing the masking tape around it.
" Oh my God!" the phrase I uttered when I finally saw the thing inside the bag.
I was deafened by what I heard. I was speechless. I couldn't answer Joseph's question. I felt I was being cheated. Not knowing what to do and how to react properly, I walked out teary-eyed. On the other hand, Joseph didn't follow me. He probably understood that I needed space.
As I arrived home, I went straight to my room. I was so emotional. I cried for many hours thinking of Joseph's shocking revelation. It was not easy for me, especially that honesty is one of my primary requirements in a relationship.
At that moment, I felt like quitting from the relationship. Yes, I knew that his marriage to Linda was already annulled, so he was free to love or marry again; but, that wasn't the issue. What hurt me the most was, he was being dishonest to me not just once but twice. Remember that he didn't tell me about Agnes.
How could I trust him again ? How would I know that he was being honest to his feelings towards me when he kept many secrets from me? I was scared to continue loving him because he failed to follow the most important rule in our relationship - to be honest and not to keep secrets from each other.
Since then, I doubted his love for me. My respect for him lessened. I started to feel uninterested in continuing our relationship. I became wild and stubborn; in fact, it took time for him to please me because I didn't listen to him anymore.
Furthermore, Joseph tried to regain my trust towards him. He suffered much because I neglected him. Moreover, I kept on writing on our notebook this line," I need space. Please set me free."; while, he kept on replying to my message, " No. I will never let you go. I'm willing to suffer and I'm willing to wait for the time when you forgive me."
Unable to find the right stroke in winning me back, he wrote something surprising to me -
" Dear Luv,
Let's get married. You'll turn 18 three days from now, so we'll go to Tagbilaran City next week to file for a marriage license.
Anyway, I'll do something very important tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me about my room. Now, I know why I'm disturbed. I have to settle this first before our wedding.
Luv u so, Joseph "
" Oh my, God! We'll get married? What the?", I uttered quietly. On the other hand, I was puzzled on the last paragraph of the letter. I was clueless.
Before I continue my story, " The Unforgettable", I will share this news first that I read last night. I find this news very interesting and informative. I hope you'll like this. Anyway, please watch the video below for the complete details.
Foreign Accent Syndrome is a rare medical condition that usually occurs as a rare side effect of severe brain injury, such as a stroke or a head injury . Between 1941 and 2006, there have been fifty recorded cases.
" Linda was my friend and my classmate while I was studying law at university. I and my other male friends together with Linda used to watch X-rated VHS tapes in my room after our classes. One day, it happened that it was only me and her watching an X-rated film. We got carried away, we forgot that we imitated or did the things we saw on the film.
Two months later, we found out that she got pregnant. I had to marry her because the school would not allow us to graduate if we didn't get married. I was shocked because she didn't want to be married by me. However, her family and my family forced the two of us to get married for the sake of the baby and for us to graduate.
After the wedding, Linda stayed with me in the house. We stayed in my room in the second floor. We used to fight because she always got mad at me without valid reasons. However, I tried to understand her because my mother told me that pregnant women are usually hot-headed.
One day, a best friend of Linda visited us. Her name was Lyn. My family and I welcomed her and treated her as a member of the family. Because she often visited us, she became my best friend too. The three of us were very happy with our friendship. On the other hand, I sacrificed sleeping in the guest's room whenever Lyn visited us; because, Linda didn't want me to disturb them and to listen to what they talked.
Seven months later, Linda gave birth. Unfortunately, the baby died an hour after he was given birth. He died because of congenital heart defect. According to the doctor, Linda was possibly taking medicines while she was still pregnant that caused the heart of the baby to be small and very weak. I couldn't believe it because I only gave her vitamins for a healthy pregnancy.
I suffered much with the death of our baby. I was so affected, yet Linda was so calm. She didn't even cry. A month after our baby's death, we started to fight again. She was so irritable and hot-tempered. I wanted to give up but my parents-in-law told me to give more patience and understanding to their daughter.
I thought moving to Manila was the solution to our constant fight, so we moved there. Yet, I was wrong. There was no day when we didn't fight. I had almost given up but I extended my patience because I didn't want our marriage to be broken. I focused on my work as a lawyer and ignored her when she nagged at me.
Surprisingly, Linda got pregnant with our second baby. I was very happy and I was very excited with the baby's coming. Thus, I doubled my hard work as a preparation. To ensure the safety of our baby, I hired helpers to do the household chores & to take care of Linda. Also, I constantly reminded Linda to drink vitamins; and, I granted all her requests.
One of Linda's requests was to let Lyn follow and live with us in Manila. I didn't want her to feel sad, so I granted the request. I booked a ticket for Lyn right away. Two days later, Lyn arrived in Manila and lived with us; since then, Linda was very happy. I always caught them laughing as I arrived home from work.
I was very happy seeing the happy face of Linda. But, I felt sad because I couldn't sleep in our room anymore. She would always tell me to sleep in the servant quarter. I was annoyed but I had no choice. I had to sacrifice for the sake of the baby and for her not to get mad at me.
Three months later, Lynda told me that she didn't want the baby to be born. She wanted the baby to be aborted. Of course, I didn't allow her. And, I got very angry with her because I couldn't believe that she would think something bad against our baby.
I thought she listened to me; until one day, she and Lyn went home telling me that they came from an abortionist. I felt my heart would explode. I didn't know what to do. I walked back and forth inside the living room. Then, I found myself crying as I saw my baby boy inside a jar. He was lifeless and he floated on the formalin. I felt the world was in my shoulder. I wanted to hit Linda's face but Lyn hindered me. I didn't expect that she would kill the innocent baby inside her womb. How could a mother do such thing towards her baby?
I cried for many nights. I brought my baby wherever I went and I slept with him each night. Few months later, I was able to accept that we lost the baby. I tried to begin a new life with Linda; yet, I was shocked when she told me that she wanted a break-up. She wanted our marriage to be annulled because she was confused with her feelings towards me and she wanted to find herself.
Asking for an an annulment of the wedding was least expected. I knew we used to fight but she also knew that I tried my very best just to be a better husband to her. I forgave her with what she did to our second baby; and, I allowed her not to follow my surname. She was still using her surname even though we're already married. Anyway, I said, "No" to the annulment. I told her that I would just say "YES", if she had a valid reason.
One day, she told me that she and Lyn would go for a vacation in the province; so, I allowed them. I slept temporarily in our room while they were on vacation. Unexpectedly, a decor on the wall fell on the floor as I laid on our bed. I got up to pick it up. When I hung it back on the wall, I noticed a paper posted at the back. So, I read everything that was written on it, " I love you very much dearie Linda. Thanks for the smiles, the inspiration and the love that you give each day. - Lyn".
My heart pounded fast. I couldn't believe the thing that I discovered. To my curiosity, I got all the decors from the wall. I was really shocked because all the decors had love quotes and notes from each of them. Shivering, I tried to find some more evidences.
As I removed the mattress on our bed, I saw lots of letters. With much courage, I read all the letters. I wailed when I read something about the FM radio station - Love Radio. Before we lived in Manila, Linda would always tuned in to Love Radio at 9 o'clock in the evening to listen to a certain greeting and song. She would always smile and sing with the radio as soon as the song was played. And, she would get mad at me if I turned off the radio. I wondered why the same song was played every night at 9 o'clock and the same greeter as well; but, I didn't expect that it was for Linda and from Lyn in that they used other names.
After I discovered everything, I felt like I was torn into pieces. I didn't expect that Lyn and Linda have fooled me for many years already. Most importantly, I couldn't accept the fact that Linda was a lesbian. She was very pretty and she was so womanly.
On the other hand, the questions in my mind were answered. Since then, I knew the reason why Linda didn't allow me to sleep in our room when Lyn was with us, why the doctor said that Linda took medicines that led to the death of our first baby, why she let our second baby to be aborted and why she wanted an annulment of our wedding?
The following day, Linda and Lyn went home from a vacation. With much anger, I commanded Lyn to live separately from us. I only gave her an hour to pack her things up and to leave from our house. When Lyn was gone, I brought Linda inside our room and I threw unto her all the letters that I found and the decors as well.
Crying, she confessed that she was a lesbian. Being a lesbian was the reason why she didn't want to be married by me, why their two babies died, why she didn't follow my last name, why she always got mad at me and why she asked for an annulment? She also told me that she had been in a relationship with Lyn before we got married. And worst, she didn't love me. If there was someone she loved, that was Lyn.
I was fed up with what I heard, I forgot that I hit her. I couldn't accept that she lied and cheated on me for years. I felt the insult that she brought to me. It was an insult having a woman opponent in Linda's heart and sharing her with a woman. I was really really hurt with what I found out. However, I set her free since I loved her. The same day, I recorded a message for Lyn telling her to take care of Linda. The following day, I sent Linda to Lyn's new apartment.
Two days later, I filed an annulment of our wedding. Upon the trial, I brought all the evidences in the court. Because of the evidences and our own will for the annulment, the trial didn't take so long. One year after, our marriage was annulled. Afterward, I went home bringing with me some evidences and necessary things.
Five years ago, Linda's family told me that she was still happily living with Lyn there in Manila. I've already accepted that she was not really meant for me in that it's been 13 years since we separated legally. I have already forgiven her and Lyn. And, I'm very happy for both of them.
However, something has been disturbing me for many years now. I know that it isn't about love because I'm very happy and contented having you in my life. Besides, I love you very much; and, I'm even planning to spend my whole life with you. Yet, I don't have any idea why I feel this way? I'm bothered with something that I don't know.
Anyway, I hope that you will forgive me for not telling you my past. I intentionally keep everything as a secret because I don't want you to get discouraged. Also, it's because I don't want to talk anymore about that nightmare. Don't you notice - none of the family dares to talk about it? It's all because they know that I will be annoyed. I'm now very happy with my life; and, I don't want it to be ruined by that bad past.
As I stared the photo of the dead baby boy, the door was suddenly closed. Someone slammed the door. I stood up to see who did it, but I didn't see anyone. In my mind, the spirit of the dead baby boy got mad at me because I stared at his photo; so, I immediately returned the photo album to the old closet, then I went out.
While I was in my room, I thought of the mysteries that happened and the things I discovered in Joseph's room. I was not sure, but in my heart I believed that there was something in his room which I had to find out. So, I made up my mind. I planned to confront Joseph about the things I discovered in his room.
On the same day, I got the notebook and I wrote him telling that we had to meet the next day. Thus, he picked me up at school and we went to the mini forest. When we arrived at the mini forest, I didn't waste time. I told him right away the things that puzzled me.
Joseph remained silent for two minutes. I thought he got mad at me because I went inside his room without his permission, so I asked sorry. I told him that I was just curious about his room. Moreover, I found his room mysterious because of the strange noise I heard.
Teary-eyed, Joseph held my hand and began to tell me the story.
After I knew the name of the woman in the photo, I was eager to know her. I suspected that she was part of Joseph's life and she was connected with the dead baby boy and the fetus that I saw in the album. Thus, I got the pile of love letters in the closet. I was hoping that I could get more information about Linda ( the woman in the photo).
I got the pile of love letters out from the closet, then I sat on the floor beside the closet. I got one and I read its content.
" Dearest Lyn,
How are you today? I miss you so much. Thank you very much for coming into my life. You give me inspiration. You make me smile each day. And, you make my life complete.
Please follow me here in Manila. I'm waiting. I'll send you the money for you to buy a ticket.
Kindly send my regards to your family and to our friends there. I'll wait for your reply.
missing you, Linda"
I wondered who Lyn was and what was her connection to Linda? Also, what was Joseph's connection to Linda and Lyn. So, I got another letter from the pile; but then, the letter was for Lyn again and was from Linda. I was hopeful that I could find a letter that wasn't from Linda, thus I continued reading the letters.
When I opened the fifth letter, I saw a picture of two women. There were no names at the back of the photo but I recognized one of them- Linda. I wasn't sure who was with her, yet I supposed that it was Lyn. Both of them looked pretty and happy. Anyway, the letter went like this;
" Dearie Linda,
How are things with you? It's been a month since we didn't see each other. I wonder if you're in good condition. Is everything alright? Do you miss me? Well, I hope so because I miss you a lot.
When will you go back here? I miss the time when we were together. I miss the laughter we shared, the secrets we shared & kept and the things we did. I hope to see you soon. I really miss you.
Until here. Please write me back.
take care, Lyn"
I had finished reading all the letters without one coming from Joseph. So, I got more confused. Why did Joseph keep those letters when those were not for him? Where did he get those letters? What was the significance of those letters to him?
On the other hand, I was puzzled with the contents of the letters because it seemed that Lyn and Linda were in loved with each other. However, I never thought that they were having a special relationship in that they looked gorgeous and decent. Although Linda wasn't very sexy but she was very pretty with her long curly hair; while, Lyn was slim, sexy and pretty.
I didn't think of something bad against the two. It was never in my mind the idea of negativity, specifically, the thought that one of them was a lesbian since they looked so womanly.
Before I returned the letters, the native bamboo bag and photo album in the closet, I scanned the photo album first, particularly the photo of the dead baby boy. He looked handsome and he looked like an angel smiling. Suddenly, the door....
Suddenly I heard some footsteps in Joseph's room. I thought Joseph was there playing "hide and seek" with his nephews in that I also heard laughter from small children. Horrifically, there was no one inside when I opened the door. I was terrified because the footsteps and laughter that I heard were very clear to my ears.
Puzzled, I told Mrs. Yvet ( Joseph's sister-in-law) that I would clean Joseph's room. After I got the tools for cleaning, I went back to his room. What I did first, I opened the old closet. My eyes turned big because the native bamboo bag and the photo album were gone. How come? Nobody has entered the room for a long time, except me. I tried to find them. Finally, I saw the native bamboo bag under the bed and the photo album on the bed.
One more thing, I've observed that the pillows on the bed were in chaos. It seemed that there were children playing on the bed. I was really puzzled, especially that I've heard some footsteps and laughter prior to entering the room.
Gradually, my heart pounded fast. Yet, I tried to control myself. I opened the windows and I sang aloud. I wanted to conquer the fear I had inside. Later on, I held the native bamboo bag. I shook it and I stared at it for some minutes. I was really curious on what was inside? I attempted to unfasten the masking tape that was wrapped around it; yet, I stopped because I felt guilty.
Furthermore, I opened the photo album. I continued looking at the photos in it. At the last page of the album, I saw a photo of a beautiful woman. She had a long curly hair. She was a little fat and she was in her early forties. Afterward, I got the photo out from the album to see if there was something written at the back. Then, I read the name, Linda.
Joseph and I went outside the house to talk. We sat on a bench in the yard. Then, he asked me why I stayed away from him? I didn't tell him the reason, instead I gave him a clue. I told him that his mother told me something annoying. " Is it all about Agnes?" he asked.
" Agnes is one of my students. One time she told me that she would stop from going to school because her mother didn't have money anymore to spend for her studies. I felt pity to her because her father died years ago and her brother is retarded; so I told her that I would help spend for her studies. Probably she admired me for what I did, thus, she started to fall for me. She confessed her feelings towards me but I told her that I only considered her as a sister. Lately, I told her that I had already a girlfriend - that's YOU. Love, please trust me.You're the one I love. I love you very much. I'll not replace you in my heart. Don't ever think that I'll sacrifice you for Agnes. Remember that I have known Agnes for three years before I met you. Yet, did I court her?..not..it's all because I don't love her..Believe and trust me. Just always remember that I love you very very much." he said."
I was satisfied with his explanations so our relationship went back to normal. I didn't get jealous anymore with Agnes. Especially that one of Joseph's students who later became my friend told me that it was Agnes who kept on chasing him. I wasn't worried anymore because that friend of mine kept on watching Joseph and Agnes for me.
Yet, I wasn't completely happy because I was still puzzled with Joseph's room. One day, while I was on my way to my room, I heard some footsteps in his room. I thought Joseph was there, so I opened the room. But to my surprise, there was....
After Kenneth and I chatted for two hours, Joseph came to us. He intentionally asked Kenneth to make a cup of coffee for him so that he could talk to me solely for some minutes. While Kenneth was making a cup of coffee for him, he told me that he got the notebook from my room because he wrote something on it. Furthermore, he told me to read it when I got home.
At 5 o'clock in the afternoon, I went home because I helped Mrs. Honor in watering the flowers, in cleaning the yard and in burning the dried leaves outside the fence. Afterward, I helped Mr. Eugene in the kitchen. At 6:30 we had our dinner. Later on, I washed the dishes.
While I was washing the dishes, Joseph pretended to wash his hands. Before he left, he whispered to me..." Please, don't forget to read the notebook". After I washed the dishes, I proceeded to my room right away.
When I was on the the stairs, I saw Joseph staring at me, but I didn't dare to smile at him because I felt bad and I got mad at him. Also, I was bewildered by what I discovered in his room. At that time, I felt like quitting from our relationship. I couldn't accept the thing about Agnes.
As I entered my room, I went directly to the study table to get the notebook. Subsequently, I read what Joseph wrote on it.
" Luv,
At the sound of the pager, please rise. I want to talk to you. I'm very worried. You don't write anymore on the notebook, you don't study anymore with me and you stay away from me. Please luv don't do this to me..
Joseph"
I intentionally stayed away from him because I was fed up with everything that I discovered. Yet, it wasn't my intention to stop studying in the study table downstairs in that I had a study table in my room. Nevertheless, I hadn't thought that it would be a big deal for him.
After I answered my homework and studied for my subjects on the following day, I slept. Hours later, I heard the sound of his pager. When I looked at the clock, it was still 4 o'clock in the morning. I was still very sleepy so I didn't get up from my bed. Later on, I heard some footsteps downstairs so I got up and opened my door slightly. Then , I saw Joseph looking at my room as he opened the main door of the house.
He caught me looking at him, so he waved his right hand. Then again, I saw him uttering something quietly. I tried to read his mouth. Seconds later, I was able to understand him. What he uttered voicelessly was, " Follow me. Let's talk outside.".
After I took a nap, I saw the notebook on my study table ( as I have mentioned earlier, Joseph and I communicated each other using a notebook). I forgot that I had not written something on our notebook for a couple of days already; thus, he was worried.
" Luv dear, What is happening to you? You didn't write anymore in the notebook. You don't go out in your room when I'm here. Did I do something that you didn't like?
Whatever your reason is, please tell me. I'm worried. Please let's talk.
Luv u, Joseph"
Honestly, it was not only his room which made me confused and which made me think that he was not honest to me. It was also about his relationship with Agnes - his student.
While we were on our way to school, Mrs. Honor told me that Agnes kept on sending love letters to Joseph. Moreover, she kept on getting near to Joseph by following him in the library everyday and by shifting a major. From having History as her major, she transferred to English since Joseph was an English professor.
Mrs. Honor hates women who do the first move. For her, only those liberated & cheap women do it. Since Agnes was guilty of doing the first move, she disliked her.
To prove, Mrs. Honor showed me a test paper which had a letter from Agnes at the back part.
"Dear Sir Joseph,
I know it doesn't sound good for a woman to court a man; but, I can't stop myself from doing it. I love you very much. I admire your generosity. I'm thankful that you help spend for my studies. Thank you for supporting me financially.
with much love, Agnes"
I felt bad against Joseph and I felt jealous to Agnes after I read the letter. I felt I was betrayed. I really got mad to Joseph for letting me live in the world of lie and dishonesty. I couldn't believe that he would hide those things from me. Nonetheless, I stopped myself from expressing anger and jealousy in front of Mrs. Honor in that Joseph and I hid our relationship from her and to everybody around us.
Haplessly, Joseph's student and his room had bothered me since then. I wanted to confront Joseph about these things, yet I felt that I didn't have the right to do it. I had extended my patience and had kept my mouth shut because I waited for him to explain to me everything.
Instead of writing back to Joseph, I went to Kenneth's house. Kenneth and I watched TV and talked many things.
